The Warrior's Way
As a perfectionist and an optimist, it's easy to always look at a situation and see how it could be better, how it could be different.
I was always looking on the bright side of things, looking for the silver lining.
Photo by Ashley Cova ashleycova.com
As a perfectionist and an optimist, it's easy to always look at a situation and see how it could be better, how it could be different.
I was always looking on the bright side of things, looking for the silver lining.
This often lead to denial when a situation was shitty and painful.
There have been countless times that I've shared my experience with someone and the response was "at least..." At least I'm not starving. At least I have a roof over my head. At least. At least. At least. Are only the people in the worst conditions allowed to feel bad? I spent years thinking that I had no right to complain about the hardships in my life because "it could have been worse" but we do have to acknowledge the pain. And yes, it's so easy to get stuck in the negativity and to spiral in the other direction- to become a pessimist, never be able to see the good and become an endless loop of complaints.
I'm finding the sweet spot. The balance between those opposite ways of thinking. Acknowledging the bad and uncomfortable, and accepting that it is what it is, THEN finding ways to shift it. Also acknowledging the good, great, amazing things and basking in gratitude. One of my favorite journaling exercises is to write about what I would like to change AND what I have gratitude for.
Listening to an episode of @yogagirl's podcast with @waylonlewis, the founder of @elephantjournal, reminded me this balance when he shared a quote by Pema Chodron.
"If the warrior (which is a noble human being who is serving the good of others and enjoying their life) can keep the sadness and pain of life in their heart and at the same time the vision brilliance of the sun rising up in the morning in their mind, then they can live a good life."
💖
Four Channels of Nourishment on the Spiritual Path
There are four channels of nourishment on the narrow road of the yoga, the spiritual path.
I am so overwhelmed with gratitude. This is my third year studying with Kino. It was her writing about the spiritual path in her instagram posts combined with the discipline and magic of the Ashtanga yoga practice that woke me up to how I could lead a peaceful life.
My biggest takeaway from the weekend is that there are four channels of nourishment on the narrow road of the yoga, the spiritual path.
1. The student's effort. To receive, to show up and put in the work, to listen.
2. The teacher.
3. The sangha or the community, friends around us that support us, celebrate with us. People to look ahead at that inspire us, people to look back at and to see that there are others following us along this path, friends that help us stay focused on the path.
4. Time. It can't be rushed. I used to say "I've been practicing Ashtanga for a whole year!" And now I say "wow I've only been practicing for less than 3 years." I still feel like a beginner in so many ways.
I'm so grateful for Kino as one of my teachers and so grateful for my sangha.
How I Handle Exhaustion
I surrender to it. I let go of the need to push harder, whether that's working out more, doing more, reading more. I stop scheduling so many things. I stop making too many plans. I straighten up my room, light a candle, take a shower, and just sit. Just be.
Work hard. Play hard. REST hard.
I live my life in extremes. I try to tone it back sometimes but it goes against my nature. I've never used that phrase "work hard play hard" to describe my life but lately I am realizing that is exactly how I live my life. The missing component is the REST. I usually go go go until I get sick. My body forces me to stop. I will travel every other weekend for months, go out dancing til 2am, and do all the things accessible to me as a millennial living in a major metropolis. I will also take many nights in solitude, in silence. Just me and my breath, my heartbeat, my journal, and the slowest yoga I can practice to counteract the fast paced living. This isn't forever (nothing is) but this is my life right now and I'm not going to wait for it to slow down before I rest. I am going to build in, schedule in, the rest time that my body is craving.
A friend recently asked how I handle the exhaustion. Here was my response:
I'm still figuring it out (which I might always be doing) but I surrender to it. I let go of the need to push harder, whether that's working out more, doing more, reading more. I stop scheduling so many things. I stop making too many plans. I straighten up my room, light a candle, take a shower, and just sit. Just be. My mind wants to be checking facebook or reading psychology articles while I'm sitting (doesn't everyone do that for fun?), but those things aren't truly resting. So I listen to the silence around me. Listen to my favorite music. Be by myself.
When I'm eating, I see it as idle time and want to be reading, on Facebook or instagram too. Staying distracted. But I take a moment to look at my food, think about all the ingredients in it, where each ingredient came from, who had to plant the seeds, harvest them, transport them on a truck, bring them to the store or restaurant, all for me to have this singular meal. It blows my mind how easily accessible food is for us.
I connect with my physical body through all its senses.
I clean my body and clean my surroundings.
I get out of my head and into my body.
Just be.
Peace is Inside
I used to be all externally focused.
A serious case of wanderlust, worrying about other people and their problems as a way to avoid my own, constantly being busy so that I wouldn't be with my own thoughts for too long, and only concerned with how my body looked with no awareness of how it felt.
I used to be all externally focused.
A serious case of wanderlust, worrying about other people and their problems as a way to avoid my own, constantly being busy so that I wouldn't be with my own thoughts for too long, and only concerned with how my body looked with no awareness of how it felt.
I've started to find a balance. I still want to travel but so that I can observe other cultures and learn about them rather than for an escape from my reality.
I don't worry about what other people are doing.
I have acceptance of different points of views.
I've found peace in being at home and being comfortable with the quiet moments.
I stopped saying yes to every opportunity that came my way and thought about whether it's something I truly want to do or if it is out of guilt or a feeling of obligation.
I've found love for my body, awareness of how certain foods make me feel in both my digestion and my mood, how those foods affect my skin.
I've found appreciation for my thick thighs and wide shoulders and all the natural strength that comes with them.