She asked, “do you ever doubt yourself? Or compare yourself?”
And I bust out laughing.
The answer?
Every. Fuckin. Day.
I quit my 9-5 corporate job in October to pursue running my coaching and yoga business full-time while also moving to a new city (all or nothin’ babe).
It has been such a hard journey that’s dug up alllllllllll of my unhealed shadows to be faced. Even things I thought I moved past came up for healing on a deeper level.
The thought, “maybe I should go back into corporate design…” has crossed my mind nearly every single day.
I get caught in the endless scrolling on social media, seeing what the other coaches from my training program are up to and I compare compare compare, feeling shittier with every swipe.
Comparison shows where I am still insecure. It used to be around my body. I would scrutinize how I looked in photos compared to my friends, compared to past versions of myself, never satisfied.
Now it’s around business since I’m not yet where I want to be and wondering every day what I’m doing wrong, forgetting to see what I’m doing right.
I’ve embraced that fear, self-doubt, and comparison are part of the process. Maybe comparison goes away, but fear and self-doubt doesn’t. In honest conversations with people I admire who are doing the things I want to be doing, I’ve learned that fear and doubt still affect them. It shows up every time we edge our comfort zone.
This is where discernment comes into play. Is the doubt and fear showing up because I’m on the wrong path or because I’m doing something new and uncomfortable?
It’s usually the latter.
The knowing that I’m on the RIGHT path is an expansive and grounded sensation in my body.
The fear and doubt of stepping out of my comfort zone show up in my head as racing thoughts and anxiety. It’s heady and airy and spins me dizzy.
I thank the fear for trying to keep me safe within what’s known and familiar. I take a deep breath and remember that I’m capable, that I’ve done hard things before, and that I can trust myself now.
I am safe. I am okay. I can handle anything that comes my way.
Thanks @dariaxtaylor for asking the best questions and taking THE BEST photos of me.