Fear and courage

FEAR AND COURAGE

Courage: doing the scary thing despite the fear.

I'm scared of something every single day. It ranges from a phobia, to the moldy fruit at the bottom of the refrigerator drawer, to not having enough money. Fortunately, I don't have to be scared of being eaten by a lion like our ancestors, or not having food, shelter, or water. But I fear that I might not be successful in my own business someday, and it awakens the dear old friends of Perfectionism and Inner Critic.

Perfectionism nudges me, "If you're going to put something out there, it has to be the perfect time, the perfect place, the perfect words. I mean, if it's not going to be absolutely perfect and efficient, then you're just wasting your time. What's the point otherwise? Everyone will see you're a fraud." Perfectionism is also best friends with Imposter Syndrome. It stops me in my tracks as I scramble to make everything just so.

Then Inner Critic jumps at the chance, taking the baton and running with it. It plants seeds of doubt and unworthiness. It whispers "Who are you to be doing this? There's no way you'll be able to make enough money. Someone else is already doing what you want to do. What's the point? You need to be more realistic." I notice that my body starts to shrink- my shoulders hunch forward, everything seems so much bigger than me, and I withdraw into myself.

The Fear, Perfectionism, and Inner Critic- they may always be there but I don't have to listen to them. They're the friend or family member that's always giving us terrible, unsolicited advice to keep us small, to dim our light. Just because they don't see the possibilities and potential, doesn't mean we have to blindfold ourselves too.

Right now, I do feel small. I'm standing at the bottom of a giant mountain and I can't see the peak. I have no idea what lies ahead. There could be dragons to slay, mudslides, and dead ends.

But I've walked up other mountains in the past. Yes, there were hard times. Sometimes, I had a guide that lit the way ahead, sometimes I walked with a friend beside me, sometimes I walked alone, and sometimes I had no map or compass. But I made it through each time. And that feeling of standing at a peak with the open sky above- accomplished, free, expansive, on top of the world. I know it's there and I know it's possible.

I'm telling those unhelpful friends of Fear, Perfectionism, and Inner Critic, "thanks but no thanks." I'm leaning into the fear. I'm filling my body up with that expansive energy. Shoulders back and head high, one foot in front of the other. I'm re-aligning myself with that expansive energy every time the Inner Critic wants to push me down.

I'm looking fear in the face, "Yeah, you scare me a whole lot. But I'm gonna do it anyways and it's going to be okay. It's going to be more than okay. It's going to be beautiful, and magical, and so much fun."