How I Handle Exhaustion
I surrender to it. I let go of the need to push harder, whether that's working out more, doing more, reading more. I stop scheduling so many things. I stop making too many plans. I straighten up my room, light a candle, take a shower, and just sit. Just be.
Work hard. Play hard. REST hard.
I live my life in extremes. I try to tone it back sometimes but it goes against my nature. I've never used that phrase "work hard play hard" to describe my life but lately I am realizing that is exactly how I live my life. The missing component is the REST. I usually go go go until I get sick. My body forces me to stop. I will travel every other weekend for months, go out dancing til 2am, and do all the things accessible to me as a millennial living in a major metropolis. I will also take many nights in solitude, in silence. Just me and my breath, my heartbeat, my journal, and the slowest yoga I can practice to counteract the fast paced living. This isn't forever (nothing is) but this is my life right now and I'm not going to wait for it to slow down before I rest. I am going to build in, schedule in, the rest time that my body is craving.
A friend recently asked how I handle the exhaustion. Here was my response:
I'm still figuring it out (which I might always be doing) but I surrender to it. I let go of the need to push harder, whether that's working out more, doing more, reading more. I stop scheduling so many things. I stop making too many plans. I straighten up my room, light a candle, take a shower, and just sit. Just be. My mind wants to be checking facebook or reading psychology articles while I'm sitting (doesn't everyone do that for fun?), but those things aren't truly resting. So I listen to the silence around me. Listen to my favorite music. Be by myself.
When I'm eating, I see it as idle time and want to be reading, on Facebook or instagram too. Staying distracted. But I take a moment to look at my food, think about all the ingredients in it, where each ingredient came from, who had to plant the seeds, harvest them, transport them on a truck, bring them to the store or restaurant, all for me to have this singular meal. It blows my mind how easily accessible food is for us.
I connect with my physical body through all its senses.
I clean my body and clean my surroundings.
I get out of my head and into my body.
Just be.
Learning How to Rest
What this yoga practice has taught me is how to distinguish when I'm being lazy and unmotivated (which isn't always a bad thing, but that's a different topic for a different day) and when I'm in need of rest and recovery.
The theme of my week so far as been rest.
I got up at my normal early time on Monday and spent the entire day sleepy and exhausted. The past two days, I went to bed early and slept in so that I could have more time for recovery.
What this yoga practice has taught me is how to distinguish when I'm being lazy and unmotivated (which isn't always a bad thing, but that's a different topic for a different day) and when I'm in need of rest and recovery.
It's a preventative measure so that I don't push myself too far and get sick. I've often avoided this resting period because I've viewed it as a form of failing, of slipping off the wagon of the strict and disciplined routine I've designed and imposed on myself. Having an all or nothing type of personality combined with being a perfectionist, I often gave up if I "messed up" even a little.
I'm getting comfortable with the idea that it doesn't have to be that way. By reflecting on my day, my week, my month and my year more often, I realize how much I have accomplished and how equally important it is to have this time of rest and play.